Aug 24, 2019

Given some of the past fields of political candidates, we always thought the option of “none-of-the-above” would win more than once if included on a ballot. That option may have won a New Hampshire Republican congressional primary back in the 1970s in a field so weak that John Adams came in first. (It wasn’t THE John Adams but the speculation is that voters were hoping against hope.)

Given the candidate options in Keene for a coming municipal election, it’s just as well that “none-of-the-above” won’t be listed. How would voters ever decide between “none” and Nobody?

A Keene man, having legally changed his name to Nobody, says he is running “because Nobody knows how to run your life better than you do. Nobody deserves that kind of power, and Nobody tells the truth anymore, and I want to be that guy.”

(Note to DNC: Surely Nobody deserves a seat at your next presidential debate.)

He didn’t say it yet but clearly, his slogans will include an affirmation that Nobody can fight city hall. As for a campaign song, it must be, it has to be, “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.”

Hallelujah!